It's 5am in the morning, and I can't sleep.
My headache yesterday only got worse. I started getting chills after that. Checked my tempature. I was at 101.4; the same tempature I had at the hospital two weeks ago. I took a couple Advil and started feeling better. The fever went down. Then tonight I woke up with another tempature; this time 101.8.
Normally a fever wouldn't concern. But I am postpartum and twice in one month just isn't normal for me. But I didn't want to go back to the hospital. Thought they might think I have a different kind of problem; being addicted to being hospitalized. I've heard about people like this before. And I can't deny that the hospital is very comfortable for me. Everyone is really nice up there and they help me out a lot. Besides that, there's an electric bed and cable TV. The nurses make an amazing juice cocktail too.
I cried when we left the hospital after Ashtin was born. I cried as soon as we got into the car to leave. I knew as soon as we got home, I'd start stressing about what needed to be done around the house. Nate cleaned it up before I was discharged, but I can always spot more things that need to get done.
Ashtin is stirring. Takes around ten minutes for him to wake up completely. I should probably go.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Headache
Have a headache. I never used to get headaches, back before I got pregnant. Now I get them daily, even after Ashtin was born earlier this month.
Maybe it's lack of sleep. But that can't very well be helped.
Nate and I have been passing Ashtin back in forth like a hot potato all morning. He slept through most of the night last night, so Nate and I were able to get a little shut-eye ourselves. 'Cept I'm still tired. I'm eternally exhausted. And it's not fair to my new little boy that I just don't have the energy to enjoy him.
So you would think I'd be sleeping now, while Nate's holding Ashtin and he's quiet and content enough. But something keeps me up. Like I feel the second I lay down and begin to relax, he's going to start crying and I'll have to feed him. But that can't be true, because Nate said he'd feed him with one of the bottles of formula next time he's hungry; we don't want to waste any of what was made last night. Maybe I just feel like I'm more responsible for Ashtin's care just by nature since I'm mom. And I don't want Nate to feel overwhelmed.
He's been handling everything pretty well, actually. He takes the baby off my hands a lot, and I'm beginning to feel guilty about it. He's able to play on the computer while holding him, but if Ashtin is fussy, I feel like I should take him off Nate's hands so that he doesn't disrupt what he's doing.
Ashtin is getting fussy now. You would think he's hungry, but I've tried already and he just stares at me. When Nate brings him up to his face, Ashtin latches on his nose.
Maybe it's lack of sleep. But that can't very well be helped.
Nate and I have been passing Ashtin back in forth like a hot potato all morning. He slept through most of the night last night, so Nate and I were able to get a little shut-eye ourselves. 'Cept I'm still tired. I'm eternally exhausted. And it's not fair to my new little boy that I just don't have the energy to enjoy him.
So you would think I'd be sleeping now, while Nate's holding Ashtin and he's quiet and content enough. But something keeps me up. Like I feel the second I lay down and begin to relax, he's going to start crying and I'll have to feed him. But that can't be true, because Nate said he'd feed him with one of the bottles of formula next time he's hungry; we don't want to waste any of what was made last night. Maybe I just feel like I'm more responsible for Ashtin's care just by nature since I'm mom. And I don't want Nate to feel overwhelmed.
He's been handling everything pretty well, actually. He takes the baby off my hands a lot, and I'm beginning to feel guilty about it. He's able to play on the computer while holding him, but if Ashtin is fussy, I feel like I should take him off Nate's hands so that he doesn't disrupt what he's doing.
Ashtin is getting fussy now. You would think he's hungry, but I've tried already and he just stares at me. When Nate brings him up to his face, Ashtin latches on his nose.
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